Crimson Peak Review with Spoilers

Hello and Welcome to Saving Face Beauty!

The other night I went out with the ladies to a late night showing of Crimson Peak. Despite my initial instincts I was assured that this was in fact a ghost movie and not a heart-wrenching, coming of age film about menstruation and female solidarity. You know, kind of like a film adaptation of the Red Tent by Anita Diamant. Good book by the way. Obviously the ladies wanted to see this film, not so much for the ghosts, but for an awe-inspiring glimpse of Tom Hiddleston's (aka Loki's) bare backside. Just between you and me, it did inspire awe.  

*Side Note*

Whenever I see man-booty in the movies or on TV I become impressed and also confused by its seemingly smooth, even-toned and relatively hairless nature. I feel like this is not an accurate representation of what an actual man-booty looks like. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I can't help but wonder what kind of effort goes into it. A butt double? Booty facials? Extra squats? Waxing? The world may never know. But if you do, please comment!

Tom Hiddleston's Character, Thomas, is a titled Englishman who travels to the states with his sister, to procure an investment to keep the family business afloat. Although he is denied for the loan, he soon falls for the banker's daughter, Edith. Or so it would seem.  

To my surprise Charlie Hunnam (aka Jax Teller) also makes an appearance as a respected optician who is also vying for young Edith's affections. Quite the step up from a low-life, mother-killing, biker thug wouldn't you say? He unfortunately comes up short, however, as Edith marries Thomas shortly after her father, the banker, dies under mysterious circumstances.

Edith experiences several ghostly encounters after settling into her husband's estate. The ghost warns of her new families' past indiscretions and of the potential danger that she could be in.

I won't give anything else away, only that the best part of the movie, besides some satisfactory man-booty, is that someone gets stabbed in the face. In. The. FACE! B*tches don't play. 

The things I liked about this movie include:

                Set Design


                Man Booty of course

                A Ruthless face stabbing

Things I didn't like about the movie include, but are not limited to:

 The storyline was unbelievably predictable. One could even see the "plot twist" coming, especially if you watch Game of Thrones. 

    There were only two ghosts in the majority of the film. 

    It wasn't very scary. Like at all.

  I'm sure you could put together better special effects  on your smartphone. 

 The ending, as you might imagine, leaves much to be desired. 

The overarching theme of the story is that a man needs to do what's necessary to get his finances in order, even if it is degrading and frowned upon by society. Like being a gold digger, or poisoning a few of your wives for example.

The theme carries over to reality, not just for us normal folk, but for the actors themselves as this is not the best work I've seen from either Hiddleston or Hunnam. I do, however, have to respect the need they must have to get their bills paid . 

Would I recommend this movie? Ummm...nah. Not if you have to spend money on it. Harsh, but true. Torrent that sh*t if you must. 

Thanks for Reading and Remember to Show Love for the Man-Booty!