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Despite having taken five pages of drunk notes I struggle to find words, period.
I know this much:
If you were to drink over half a bottle of Whiskey on your own, you'd probably embark on an intense journey of self discovery. I find I'm a more enthusiastic dancer, I'm better at aerobics (don't ask questions you don't know the answer to) and I just taught myself how to use Twitter efficiently. I literally did not how to correspond meaningfully with @ signs, #'s and a 140 character limit. At some point I stopped taking notes and started drunk live tweeting. It felt kind of surreal, like tweeting was a skill I had in a past life that could only be unlocked under special circumstances.
Onto the review?
Recap of Movie
- The movie opens with the main character, Finley Shepherd, receiving several recognitions -The Presidential Medal of Freedom and is appointed to the Order of the Golden Chainsaw- by the president for his heroism in previous Sharknados which are apparently, a matter of national security.
- Something I've never noticed before is the dialog in some of these sci-fi movies is reminiscent of a porno. Only slightly.
- Just as Fin is receiving his awards, another Sharknado strikes the Whitehouse and he has the opportunity to save the President of the United States.
- Some of my favorite imagery includes a great white landing on Lincoln's lap and another shark being skeward by an American flag.
- The next scene depicts a very pregnant April. I think this is where the 'Oh He'll No' subtitle comes in.
- Several cameos by Hoda and Kathy Lee, Al Rocher and Frankie Muniz. What a comeback Frankie. Frankie Muniz dies BTW.
- A reference is made to an Alligatorapocalypse. Coincidentally, alligator films played on syfy for most of the following day. Are they dropping hints? Or is this just a cocktease?
- Somehow April and Fin end up in outer space where she is swallowed whole by, you guessed it, a shark. After a crash landing to earth April gives birth to the baby inside of the shark who they name Gil.
- After the birth of the child, a bloody April is hit by a piece of space debris and the movie ends abruptly at which point the audience is given the opportunity to decide April's fate. That's a nice touch by the way. To, not only interact with the audience by displaying tweets during commercial breaks, but to put the life of an important character into the audience's hands is a fantastic way to harness viewer participation.
The Makeup Connection
Toward the end, Nova kills a shark with Benefits They're Real Mascara which she uses as a bullet. I get the idea that Benefit is heavily supporting the Sharknado franchise for whatever reason. To me at least, there's no clear correlation between cosmetics and sea life. If it was a campaign for a new waterproof formula, that would make sense. If a special FX brand was peddling fake blood and prosthetics that would make even more sense. Benefit, however, has recently added several new "Killer Colors" to their range of They're Real Mascara and They're Real Push Up Liner. A little far fetched, but not the most ridiculous thing this movie has to offer.
I started drunk live tweeting at some point in time to @BenefitCosmetics US with #Sharknado3 and #DrunkMode. A few of those tweets were favorited by Benefit Cosmetics and Drunk Mode. Awkward, but hey, a girl's gotta get her name out there some how.
There's Pretty much a world-wide consensus acknowledging the Sharknado movies are terrible. That's an indisputable fact. Yet its wild success has transformed this Saga into a cultural phenomenon. How can an obscure sci-fi movie become so popular as to inspire celebrities from the likes of Kelly Osbourne, Al Rocher, Frankie Muniz, Hoda and Kathy Lee to make cameos?
Despite taking a few days to write this review and having seen Sharknado3 two times back to back, I'm still having trouble articulating my thoughts. I have no words besides Sharknado makes me feel, dare I say, Liberated? I'm thoroughly convinced there's no better time to be alive.
As a blog writer Sharknado makes me feel like I could produce content that's ridiculous, and far-fetched, and idiotic and still maintain some kind of following. The demographic of those followers might, however, be subject to criticism.
Like I said before, these movies are NOT good, they're just inexplicably fascinating. Almost like witnessing a trainwreck in slow motion. The only difference is the conductor somehow regains "control " (and I use that word in the loosest way possible) of the locomotive right before it crashes and burns. Translation: Sharknado creators seem to be very deliberate in their absurdity.
With all that being said, I have no choice but to highly recommend that everyone watch all the Sharknado movies (past present, and future) at least once. If you feel you need to be under the the influence to do so, that's your prerogative.
As ways I'd love to know your thoughts on the Sharknado Saga as a whole and whether you responded with #AprilLives or #AprilDies.
If you're interested in my 'Pregame Post' check out the "Lifestyle" section of this blog.
Thanks for Reading and Remember:
Don't Just Wear Makeup, Let It Inspire You to Mercilessly Slay a Shark (apparently)